Tuesday, 27 May 2014

First visit to RIPAS Gynaecology

Last Saturday Fen had an appointment with the gynecologist in RIPAS. It was her first visit. The appointment was 9am, but knowing the insufficient parking in RIPAS would delay us, we arrived an hour early at 8am. To my surprise, I was amazed with the parking technology at RIPAS basement parking.

Basement parking with counter tracking number of available space is common, but as I drove down, I saw the red lights on. Apparently, if the parking space is not available, the red light will be turn on. And if you see a green light on from far, you know there is an empty parking space. This makes life so much easier and convenient, as you don't need to make turns and turns to find a parking. 







Since we arrived earlier, Fen and I explored the canteen. A huge green signboard caught my attention. It wrote: "Makanan Sihat" which means healthy food. Guess what? I was surprised nasi katok is categorized as healthy food. And its in the hospital canteen. First thing pop in my mind, 

1) Are these foods suitable for the patients?
2) Isn't hospital a place that emphasize health?
3) Anyone regulating the choice of food to sell?






Fast forward few hours later, Fen was done with her checkup, which lasted 15mins only. That's right! A pregnant lady waited for 5 hours to get a 15mins check up (ultra-sound ONLY). It hurts to see Fen waiting impatiently for the whole morning, with minimal food intake. Hence, the redemption was Thai lunch at Lemon Grass Kiulap :)

Fried Kang-Kung w/ Belacan

Cooking a vegetable dish can be as easy as brushing your teeth in the morning. All you need to do is to keep trying and you will eventually use the same technique for different vegetables. Last week, under Fen's supervision, I've cooked fried Kang-Kung with belacan.


Preparation Time: < 5mins
Cooking Time: < 10mins
Ingredients:-

1) Kang-Kung (Obviously)
2) Belacan (Of course!)
3) Garlic
4) Chili
5) Salt


Getting ready~

In order, garlic - chili - belacan. Fry until you smell like belacan :)

Kang-kung joining the fun. Add little salt for flavoring

Ta-Da~ Quick, simple and easy dish ready to serve

Honey Chicken

Chicken has been my regular meal and that itself is a motivation for me to learn a few dishes with chicken. Last weekend was one that I prepared a few dishes for Fen to try. And I decided to try this honey chicken.


Preparation Time: < 15mins
Cooking Time: < 20mins
Ingredients:-

1) Chicken (Preferably wings)
2) Pepper & Salt (For seasoning)
3) Honey
4) Soy Sauce


Getting ready~

Split the chicken into wings & drumsticks

Add some pepper

And some salt for seasoning

Mix the chicken well with salt and pepper.
Once done, place in fridge for 3-4 hours

Prepare the honey sauce
Ratio of honey to soy sauce is 2:1
Add some teaspoon of vegetable oil

Fry the chicken under low heat

The chicken should be cooked gently

Slow cook the chicken with pre-made honey sauce

Ta-Da~ Honey Chicken ready to be served~

Egg Fried Rice

One of the food I have been avoiding in a long while has been R-I-C-E. I have this perception that, unless I am working out really hard and burn a lot of calories, I will not take rice. I always have this idea that one bowl of white rice equals to six bowls of white sugar (myth or not I'm not sure).

On the other hand, Fen is a rice lover. You wouldn't believe her petite body could contain such amount of food, especially rice. So, instead of having plain rice everyday, I cooked fried rice for her last week. Its quick, simple and easy if you are looking for a variety.


Preparation Time: < 5mins
Ingredients:-

1) Rice (Of course! I pre-cook the rice and made sure it cools down before frying)
2) Vegetable oil
3) Salt (up to your flavoring)
4) Garlic (small pinch)
5) 2 Eggs


Getting Ready~

1) Oil first
2) Fry garlic until you smell the aroma
3) Fry the rice

Stir the eggs and mix it with the rice

Ta-Da~ Egg Fried Rice

Thursday, 22 May 2014

10 Choices You Will Regret in 10 Years (Re-post from www.the-open-mind.com)

Here are ten choices that ultimately lead to this phrase of regret, and how to elude them:

1.  Wearing a mask to impress others. – If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it.  Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are.  So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you.  You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people.  Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

2. Letting someone else create your dreams for you. – The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find.  A big part of this is your decision to stay true toyour own goals and dreams.  Do you have people who disagree with you?  Good.  It means you’re standing your ground and walking your own path.  Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but when you catch yourself excitedly losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing.  Read The 4-Hour Workweek.

3. Keeping negative company. – Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you.  Don’t let them get to you.  They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun.  When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.

4. Being selfish and egotistical. – A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone.  Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired.  So carve your name on hearts, not stone.  What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains.

5. Avoiding change and growth. – If you want to know your past look into your present conditions.  If you want to know your future look into your present actions.  You must let go of the old to make way for the new; the old way is gone, never to come back.  If you acknowledge this right now and take steps to address it, you will position yourself for lasting success. Read The Power of Habit.

6. Giving up when the going gets tough. – There are no failures, just results.  Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up.  Learn what you can and move on.  The one who continues to advance one step at a time will win in the end.  Because the battle is always won far away and long before the final victory.  It’s a process that occurs with small steps, decisions, and actions that gradually build upon each other and eventually lead to that glorious moment of triumph.

7. Trying to micromanage every little thing. – Life should be touched, not strangled.  Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement.  Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight.  Take a deep breath.  When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward.  You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great.  Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots.

8. Settling for less than you deserve. – Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.  Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before.  Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again.  Don’t settle.

9. Endlessly waiting until tomorrow. – The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do.  But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do.  And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.  Read The Last Lecture.

10. Being lazy and wishy-washy. – The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something.  So stop daydreaming and start DOING.  Develop a backbone, not a wishbone.  Take full responsibility for your life – take control.  You are important and you are needed.  It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday.  Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

娶了个洋媳妇, 全家人生活巨变 (Re-post from mp.weixin.qq.com)

中国婆婆流泪自述...

小孙子Toby已经3岁了。在美国待了三个月,洋媳妇Susan教育孩子的方法,令我这个中国婆婆大开眼界。每天早上,Toby醒来后,Susan把早餐往餐桌上一放,就自顾自地忙去了。Toby会自己爬上凳子,喝牛奶,吃面包片。吃饱后,他回自己的房间,在衣柜里找衣服、鞋子,再自己穿上。毕竟Toby只有3岁,还搞不清楚袜子的正反面,分不清鞋子的左右脚。

有一次Toby又把裤子穿反了,我赶紧上前想帮他换,却被Susan制止了。她说,如果他觉得不舒服,会自己脱下来,重新穿好;如果他没觉得有什么不舒服,那就隨他的便。那一整天,Toby反穿着裤子跑来跑去,Susan像没看见一样。

又一次,Toby出去和邻居家的小朋友玩,没多大会就气喘吁吁地跑回家,对Susan说:「妈妈,Lily说我的裤子穿反了,真的吗?」Lily是邻居家的小姑娘,今年5岁。

Susan笑着说:「是的,你要不要换回来?」

Toby,自己脱下裤子,仔细看了看,重新穿上了。

从那以后,Toby再也没穿反过裤子。

我不禁想起,我的外孙女五六岁时不会用筷子,上小学时不会系鞋带。如今在读初中要寄宿的她,每个周末都要带回家一大堆脏衣服呢。


RULE ONE:不吃就饿着

一天中午,Toby闹情绪,不肯吃饭。Susan说了他几句,愤怒的小Toby一把将盘子推到了地上,盘子里的食物洒了一地。Susan看着Toby,认真地说:「看来你确实不想吃饭!记住,从现在到明天早上,你什么都不能吃。」Toby点点头,坚定地回答:「Yes!」我在心里暗笑,这母子俩,还都挺倔!

下午,Susan和我商量,晚上由我做中国菜。我心领神会,Toby特别爱吃中国菜,一定是Susan觉得Toby中午没好好吃饭,想让他晚上多吃点儿。

那天晚上我施展厨艺,做了Toby最爱吃的糖醋里脊、油闷大虾,还用意大利面做了中国式的凉面。Toby最喜欢吃那种凉面,小小的人可以吃满满一大盘。开始吃晚饭了,Toby欢天喜地地爬上凳子。Susan却走过来,拿走了他的盘子和刀叉,说:「我们已经约好了,今天你不能吃饭,你自己也答应了的。」Toby看着面容严肃的妈妈,“哇”地一声在哭起来,边哭边说:「妈妈,我饿,我要吃饭。」「不行,说过的话要算数。」Susan毫不心软。我心疼了,想替Toby求情,说点好话,却见儿子对我使眼色。想起我刚到美国时,儿子就跟我说,在美国,父母教育孩子时,别人千万不要插手,即使是长辈也不例外。

无奈,我只好保持沉默。

那顿饭,从始至终,可怜的小Toby一直坐在玩具车里,眼巴巴地看着我们三个大人狼吞虎咽。我这才明白Susan让我做中餐的真正用意。

我相信,下一次,Toby想发脾气扔饭碗时,一定会想起自己饿着肚子看爸爸妈妈和奶奶享用美食的经历。饿着肚子的滋味不好受,况且还是面对自己最喜爱的食物。

临睡前,我和Susan一起去向Toby道晚安。

Toby小心翼翼地问:「妈妈,我很饿,现在我能吃中国面吗?」

Susan微笑着摇摇头,坚决地说:「不!」

Toby叹了口气,又问:「那等我睡完觉睁开眼睛时,可以吃吗?」

「当然可以。」Susan温柔地回答。

Toby甜甜地笑了。

大部分情況下,Toby吃饭都很积极,他不想因为“罢吃”而错过食物,再受饿肚子的苦。每当看到Toby埋头大口大口地吃饭,嘴上脸上粘的都是食物时,我就想起外孙女。她像Toby这么大时,为了哄她吃饭,几个大人端着饭碗跟在她屁股后面跑,她还不买账,还要谈条件:吃完这碗买一个玩具,再吃一碗买一个玩具……

RULE TWO、以其人之道,还治其人之身

有一天,我们带Toby去公园玩。很快,Toby就和两个女孩儿玩起了厨房游戏。塑胶小锅、小铲子、小盘子、小碗摆了一地。忽然,淘气的Toby拿起小锅,使劲在一个女孩儿头上敲了一下,女孩儿愣了一下,放声大哭。另一个女孩儿年纪更小一些,见此情形,也被吓得大哭起来。大概Toby没想到会有這么严重的后果,站在一旁,愣住了。

Susan走上前,问清了事情的来龙去脉后,她一声不吭,拿起小锅,使劲敲到Toby的头上,Toby没防备,一下子跌坐在草地上,哇哇大哭起来。

Susan问Toby:「疼吗?下次还这样吗?”

Toby一边哭,一边拼命摇头。

我相信他以后再也不会这么做了。

RULE THREE、建立社交能力

Toby的舅舅送了他一辆浅蓝色的小自行车,Toby非常喜欢,当成宝贝,不许别人碰。临居小姑娘Lily是Toby的好朋友,央求Toby好几次,要骑他的小车,Toby都没答应。

一次,几个孩子一起玩时,Lily趁Toby不注意,偷偷骑上小车,扬长而去。Toby发现后,气愤地跑来向Susan告状。Susan正和几个孩子的母亲一起聊天喝咖啡,便微笑着说:「你们的事情自己解决,妈妈可管不了。」

Toby无奈地走了。

过了一小会儿,Lily骑着小车回来了。Toby看到Lily,一把将她推倒在地,抢过了小车。Lily坐在地上大哭起来。Susan抱起Lily,安抚了她一会儿。很快,Lily就和别的小朋友兴高采烈地玩了起来。

Toby自己骑了会儿车,觉得有些无聊,看到那几个孩子玩得那么高兴,他想加入,又觉得有些不好意思。他蹭到Susan身边,嘟囔道:「妈妈,我想跟Lily他们一起玩。」

Susan不动声色地说:「那你自己去找他们啦!」

「妈妈,你陪我一起去。」Toby恳求道。

「那可不行,刚才是你把Lily弄哭的,现在你又想和大家玩,就得自己去解决问题。」

Toby骑着小车慢慢靠近Lily,快到她身边时,又掉头回來。来回好几次,不知道从什么时候开始,Toby和Lily又笑逐颜开,闹成了一团。

RULE FOUR、管教孩子是父母的事

Susan的父母住在加利福尼亚州,听说我来了,两人开车来探望我们。家里来了客人,Toby很兴奋,跑上跑下地乱窜。他把玩沙子用的小桶装满了水,提着小桶在屋里四处转悠。Susan警告了她好几次,不要把水洒到地板上,Toby置若罔闻。最后,Toby还是把水桶弄倒了,水洒了一地。兴奋的小Toby不觉得自己做错了事,还得意地光着脚丫踩水玩,把裤子全弄湿了。我连忙找出拖把准备拖地。Susan从我手中抢过拖把交给Toby,对他说:「把地拖干,把湿衣服脱下来,自己洗干净。」

Toby不愿意,又哭又闹。

Susan二话不说,直接把他拉到贮藏室,关了禁闭。
听到Toby在里面发出惊天动地的哭喊,我心疼坏了,想进去把他抱出來。Toby的外婆却拦住我,说:「这是Susan的事。」

过了一会儿,Toby不哭了,他在贮藏里大大声喊:「妈妈,我错了。」

Susan站在门外,问:「那你知道该怎么做了吗?」
「我知道。」

Susan打开门,Toby从贮藏室走出来,脸上还挂着两行泪珠。他拿起有他两个高的拖把吃力地把地上的水拖干净。然后,他脱下裤子,拎在手上,光着屁股走进洗手间,稀里哗啦地洗起衣服来。

Toby的外公外婆看着表情惊异的我,意味深长地笑了。
这件事让我感触颇深。在很多中国家庭,父母管教孩子时,常常会引起“世界大战”,往往是外婆外公护,爷爷奶奶拦,夫妻吵架,鸡飞狗跳。

后來,我和Toby的外公外婆聊天时,提到这件事,Toby的外公说了一段话,让我印象深刻。

他说,孩子是父母的孩子,首先要尊重父母对孩子的教育方式。孩子虽然小,却是天生的外交家,当他看到家庭成员之间出现分歧时,他会很聪明地钻空子。这不仅对改善他的行为毫无益处,反而会导致问题越来越严重,甚至带來更多别的问题。

而且,家庭成员之间发生冲突,不和谐的家庭氛围会带给孩子更多的不安全感,对孩子的心理发展产生不利影响。所以,无论是父辈与祖辈在教育孩子的问題上发生分歧,还是夫妻两人的教育观念有差异,都不能在孩子面前发生冲突。

Toby的外公外婆在家里住了一周,准备回加利福尼亚了。临走前两天,Toby的外公郑重地问女儿:「Toby想要一辆玩具挖掘机,我可以买给他吗?」

Susan想想,说:「你们这次已经送给他一双旱冰鞋作为礼物了,到圣诞节时,再买玩具挖掘机当礼物送给他吧!」

我不知道Toby的外公是怎么告诉小家伙的,后来我带Toby去超市,他指着玩具挖掘机说:「外公说,圣诞节时,给我买这个当礼物。」语气里满是欣喜和期待。

虽然Susan对Toby如此严格,Toby却对妈妈爱得不得了。他在外面玩时,会采集一些好看的小花或者他认为漂亮的叶子,郑重其事地送给妈妈;别人送给他礼物,他会叫妈妈和他一起拆开;有什么好吃的,也总要留一半给妈妈。

想到很多中国孩子对父母的漠视与冷淡,
我不得不佩服我的洋媳妇。在我看来,在教育孩子的问題上,美国妈妈有很多值得中国妈妈学习的地方。如果你的孩子还小,你还有机会,快去把这篇文章念给长辈们听!留着慢慢学吧…

愿中国式的家庭教育能成长起来!

Sunday, 18 May 2014

Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle

I came across a short clip today, about a bride's first dance. This was the song played in the background. So, I went online searching for the lyrics, and BINGO! This is such a perfect song for father / daughter dances at the wedding. Enjoy the lyrics:-



There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes 
and I thank god for all of the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her hair; 
"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning And butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember.....

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; 
sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, 
But if you don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
Oh with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right 
to deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said 
"I'm not sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over

Gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry"
Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right.
To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses

I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses...